Ok, I am not a friend spammer. Meaning, I don't spam my own friends and family with those insipid "send this to everyone you've ever met" emails.
However, I liked this one because it was extremely All About Me.
This should be interesting...
ONE WORD:
Describe me in ONE WORD...just one word! Send it to me only,
then send this message to your friends and see how many strange things
people say about U! It should be fun.
So far the words I've received are:
Hilarious
Perfect
Precise (my mother's nice way of saying "anal")
Magnificent
Genteel
Kind-hearted
Surprising (my favorite answer of all)
Sweetheart
Loyal
Smart
This is all very sweet because I sent it to friends and family...they like me.
I should try sending it to people who hate me. It would be MUCH more fun.
Now, who could possibly hate me.....
I might be a little too late but someone in the UK found my blog by googling "food water gets stuck going down in chest".
Honey, don't google it. Get thee to the hospital.
Food and water getting stuck in your gullet is serious and needs immediate medical attention.
You won't find good medical advice here unless it involves soothing yourself with expensive purses, alcohol, chocolate and cheetos (not necessarily in that order).
There are 60 days until Christmas, kids. Time is running out so you better get started.
To make things easy for you, I give you, my Favorite Things:
For the bod:
Aromatherapy Body Cream - Jasmine Vanilla
Revitalizing Body Lotion - Verbena and Lemon
Invigorating Body Splash - Verbena and Lemon
Henri Bendel Body Lotion - Wild Fig
Henri Bendel Eau de Toilette - Wild Fig
Henri Bendel Body Polish - Wild Fig
Henri Bendel Scented Candle - Fig
Fendi Spy Bag - Pink (I'll even take a fake!)
Manolo Blahnik: A girl can’t have too many shoes.
In Pink
My big fat cat sat on my sunglasses and broke them. I think these are a good replacement
Three Dog Bakery (for the dogs of course)
Treat a Month Club
Pet Pails (in case we have to evacuate again)
Sony Walkman (Times have changed. This is a bit different from the Sony Walkman I had in junior high!)
Sony VAIO Notebook (mama needs a new laptop…this should do nicely)
James Avery Silver Charms: So far I’ve only got two charms for my new bracelet (hint hint).
Cantoni Cuddle Lounge: I get sleepy just looking at it!
Who doesn’t need red satin sheets…in red?
The Literati:
The Complete Works by Michel Montaigne
Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust
Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
And of course my Amazon Wishlist.
The weather is undeniably beautiful. It's chilly, clear and sunny; perfect.
I have a need to drive over the causeway and spend the day in Galveston walking along the seawall and shopping on The Strand. Unfortunately, I'm stuck at work.
So, I'll spend the day compiling my list of favorite things because Christmas is looming and wondering why it's the MLB's call whether or not the roof is open at Minute Maid Park.
I admit it. I'm a fair-weather fan.
I've been a fair-weather Astros fan for years.
I love baseball. Probably not as much as some but I GET baseball.
I am a big football fan but sometimes I don't GET football but I get the strategies and the intricacies of baseball and a good game will satisfy my soul for days.
Lately, my attention span for anything has been quite low and baseball seasons are long and complicated and I just don't have the mental energy nor the time to sit down and sort it all out so I basically ignore baseball until the playoffs near.
If the Astros are doing well, great. If they're not, well that's another season.
When the 'Stros made the playoffs this year I was happy for them but I am a veteran of Houston sports. I know how it goes around here, our teams suck in playoff type situations so I was hopeful but I didn't have my hopes up.
I watched every game of the NLCS and was hooked all over again.
This time, my hopes were up and I wasn't disappointed.
I was elated!
I'm so very happy for veteran players like Biggio and Bagwell. Since I was a young teenager, they busted ass for this team and I'm SO thrilled for them.
I don't care whether we win the World Series or not. I am just glad they got there.
Go Astros!!
Anyone know wtf is going on with Four Honkies?
I seem to be missing 4 honkies....of the white variety.
So I thought I'd come back from the weekend all happy and perky but something AWFUL happened to me on Saturday.
I was betrayed.
Who dared to betray me, you ask??
My body committed the ultimate sin against itself; I vomited. A lot.
I had some weird 24hr bug that started Saturday night after a big mexican dinner that tasted MUCH better going down, I must say.
I have always said that vomiting is your body's ultimate betrayal. It goes against all that is natural and right.
Things should be running DOWN, not UP.
And no matter how bad you feel, no matter how much you believe you'll feel better after a good hurl, you are still surprised when it comes.
Your whole body seizes and ungodly things start to happen. It doesn't matter, also, how gross it is or how grossed out you are, you have to look.
It's human nature to take a peek and then think, "When did I eat that?"
If you're afraid of dying or dread the inevitable coming of death, throw up for a few hours and then you'll be begging God for the sweet release of death.
You'll stop caring about who you leave behind or what your family will find in the bottom of your drawers, because all you can do is think about death. Beautiful, peaceful death.
Then the morning comes and brings you respite from the vomit but you're racked with cramps and other lovely things that keep you in the bathroom until you can take enough Imodium to prevent your bowels from moving for at least a month.
By the end of that day, you're eating a little something; soup, a cracker, some Jello and you wake up Monday morning shocked that you lived yet another day and surprised that you do, in fact, feel pretty damn good.
Not fresh, not perky, but good.
I haven't been blogging because I'm in a shitty I-hate-everyone-don't-fuck-with-me -mood.
It's not your fault, so why should I take it out on you by bitching?
Maybe I'll sleep off my mood over the weekend and be the fresh and perky bitch you've come to know and love.
Right.
I got this Google Game from my good friend, Jesh!
I thought it was cute when she did it. When I did it I was laughing my ass off. Hopefully, you will too!
Here's how it goes:
Go to Google and enter your name followed by the word "needs," and then record your top 5 funniest results. If your name is John, enter in "John needs" and then list the top results in your blog. Got it?
1. DeAnna needs prayer. (My mother would agree with this.)
2. DeAnna needs some kind words. (It's TRUE!)
3. DeAnna needs to stop almost dying. (Umm...ok. I'll try.)
4. DeAnna needs to change her underwear because of all the pie crust in it. (Who told???)
5. DeAnna needs a reason to go shopping. (Oh NO she doesn't!)
BONUS: DeAnna needs a boyfriend!
I know I'm ringing in late with the Kate Moss cocaine story.
Apparently, she was caught snorting coke and now she's lost many of the contracts she had for modeling including Burberry and Chanel.
I was reading about it last night and it ocurred to me how hypocritical these people are.
These modeling and ad agencies are the ones who perpetuated the hollow, dead-eyed, skeleton-framed image of a woman. How do they expect Kate Moss to stay looking like a Tim Burton cartoon character? Cigs and coke, man. Cigs and coke.
Then they condemn her for it.
Hypocrites.
