Fresh as a frickin daisy

So I thought I'd come back from the weekend all happy and perky but something AWFUL happened to me on Saturday.
I was betrayed.

Who dared to betray me, you ask??

My body committed the ultimate sin against itself; I vomited. A lot.

I had some weird 24hr bug that started Saturday night after a big mexican dinner that tasted MUCH better going down, I must say.

I have always said that vomiting is your body's ultimate betrayal. It goes against all that is natural and right.
Things should be running DOWN, not UP.
And no matter how bad you feel, no matter how much you believe you'll feel better after a good hurl, you are still surprised when it comes.
Your whole body seizes and ungodly things start to happen. It doesn't matter, also, how gross it is or how grossed out you are, you have to look.
It's human nature to take a peek and then think, "When did I eat that?"

If you're afraid of dying or dread the inevitable coming of death, throw up for a few hours and then you'll be begging God for the sweet release of death.
You'll stop caring about who you leave behind or what your family will find in the bottom of your drawers, because all you can do is think about death. Beautiful, peaceful death.

Then the morning comes and brings you respite from the vomit but you're racked with cramps and other lovely things that keep you in the bathroom until you can take enough Imodium to prevent your bowels from moving for at least a month.
By the end of that day, you're eating a little something; soup, a cracker, some Jello and you wake up Monday morning shocked that you lived yet another day and surprised that you do, in fact, feel pretty damn good.

Not fresh, not perky, but good.

Posted by De at October 17, 2005 02:41 PM | TrackBack