August 29, 2006

All Dogs Go To Heaven

Yesterday, I had to make a horrible decision. I had to say goodbye to
my doggy soul mate, Crash.
He had been sick for a very long time.
Last year, he was diagnosed with Cushing's Disease and he would have good days and bad. Mostly good, I hope.
Friday, I noticed that he wouldn't eat and I didn't see him drink at all. Saturday morning, I was able to tempt him with a little sausage but he still wouldn't drink. Saturday night, he wouldn't eat at all and I could tell he was very uncomfortable.

I stayed up with him that night. I didn't sleep a wink. He seemed to feel better when I was holding him so I sat up in bed and held him all night long. I fully expected him to die in my arms that night. By 6 am, I had made the decision to take him to the only clinic I knew that would be open on a Sunday. I called when they opened and although I had never been there before, they agreed to see me.
I took Crash in and the doctor never mentioned euthanasia. He said we would try some medications and subcutaneous fluids and see if that would perk him up a little. I took him home but he got progressively worse. He started throwing up his medication and even though I forced water and food down his throat, nothing I could do would make him feel better.
We went back to the vet's office Monday morning and they did a CBC (complete
blood count) and the results were not good. Crash was in kidney failure and severely anemic.

The doctor sat with me and discussed our options.  We could try forcing fluids through his kidneys for 72 hrs, do another CBC and see if his levels were
better. If they were, it would mean that he would be better for a while but they would gradually creep back up into the danger zone again. If they didn't get better, well...we'd be back to square one.
Crash had been through so much already, I couldn't imagine leaving him for 3
days in a vet's office to be prodded and poked when he was already feeling so
bad. Crash was only happy when he was with me. How could I do that to him when I knew in my heart these would be his last days?
The other option was to have him put down. I knew that was what I needed to do. I knew he was miserable and I knew it would only get worse.
I asked the doctor how euthanasia worked and he described everything to me in
detail and we even spoke of his remains. I was given lots of options and I
chose to have him cremated and to keep his ashes.
This vet's office is located in an historic home in Galveston. I was put in a beautiful room that was probably once someone's living room or parlor.
They brought Crash to me and we sat in a rocking chair and I held him for
several minutes, telling him how much I love him, what a good dog he has been
over and over again.

When it was time, I was led to an exam room where the doctor gave Crash an
injection while I held him. He simply drifted off in my arms and I held
him until his heart stopped beating.
I truly feel that I did the right thing for Crash. He's no longer in pain and I believe that he can see again. I even prayed that it was my dad that came for him.

Some may think all this pain and heartbreak over a dog is silly but Crash was
literally and figuratively by my side for 10 yrs. No one, human or dog,
has ever loved me as much as Crash did. Zoe and Piper love me but not with
the total abandon and obsession that Crash did.
I'm truly devastated and miss him so much but if the movies don't lie, then
all dogs do, indeed, go to heaven.

Top Gun's Crash N Burn
03/16/96 - 08/28/06

Posted by De at August 29, 2006 10:06 AM | TrackBack

Damn, sorry for your loss De. Sometimes when I'm feeling a little low, a popsicle or four really help. Seriously, this is a hugely confidential home remedy that I've used with great success.

Posted by: shank at August 29, 2006 10:38 AM

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Posted by: skippystalin at August 29, 2006 11:21 AM

Truly sorry to read of your loss. I have had to do the same thing recently. It is better for his life to end on your terms than for him to suffer, don't forget all dogs really do go to heaven.

Posted by: colin at August 29, 2006 02:31 PM

There are no words for something like this. People who haven't had dogs or cats don't get it. It's not just a pet. It's like a part of you. I can still remember pets lost in the past, and it still hurts.

I'm just sorry it had to happen to you. =/

Posted by: Adam Lawson at August 29, 2006 02:53 PM

I'm sorry, De. I know it's rough, but at least you know you did the right thing for your doggie.

Take care.

Posted by: Zombie at August 29, 2006 04:46 PM

Sleep tight l'il man.

Posted by: tinyhands at August 29, 2006 09:04 PM

I love you Crash!

*hugs for De*

Posted by: Tammy at August 31, 2006 12:04 PM

De, that just made me cry - I loved the photos...
I'm so so so sorry about your baby.

Posted by: Lisa W. at September 1, 2006 06:02 AM

So sorry to hear about Crash. He had a long and happy life and was well loved. Live on, little Crash.

Posted by: Sabrina at September 1, 2006 11:01 PM

It's not crazy, I understand. They are family members too. Try to think of him in doggie heaven and coping will be easier with time.

Posted by: Jason at September 2, 2006 06:59 AM

Your baby was beautiful and in a better place right now. God Bless.

Posted by: TucsonTrina at September 2, 2006 07:03 PM

OH, De - so sorry. Rest in peace, good little Crash.

Posted by: red at September 3, 2006 10:00 AM

I'm so sorry hon.

Posted by: Evilicious Blonde at September 4, 2006 07:08 PM

My heart is with you in this time of loss. I think losing a pet is a very serious loss, a deep pain that reaches through the heart and into the soul. I wish you comfort and peace, especially in those moments when you miss your four-legged soulmate the most.

Posted by: Dana at September 4, 2006 07:40 PM

I am terribly sorry for your loss, and just today as a matter of fact had to put my pet beagle down. he would've been 11 in November, but was recently diagnosed with Canine Lymphoma. Me and my parents discussed the options and decided to end his suffering was the best course of action. He was miserable the last 2 days, he wouldn't eat or drink and had trouble breathing, due to enlarged lymph nodes in his neck. This morning at 8am eastern time we took him to the vet and ended his suffering. He had a good life, and was well treated, and I know right now he's in heaven with my grandfather and my aunts dog running around or chewing on a steak bone. It's terribly difficult to lose a pet, just remember the good times. The times they made you laugh, or cuddled by you or the times when you looked into your pets adorable eyes and knew all was right with the world. :)

Posted by: Rob at September 14, 2006 02:32 PM