Apparently, Colin is tired of seeing the fat lady on top. Ha! When I typed that, I realized maybe Colin has a problem with fat women on top...but whatev.
Yes, the Astros won last night. But they're playing the Pirates....who beat them the night before.
So, I'm still hopeful yet not holding out any hope.
Our internet went down at work Thursday afternoon. Time Warner didn't get a guy out here until Friday evening.
So, I had to inform the public that our internet access was unavailable.
You would have thought I went around and shot their mothers.
"What? But I need to check my email!"
I understand that people (including me) have things that need to be done online but shit happens. Don't yell at me or the poor Time Warner technician. When the harried and beleaguered tech showed up, he told me he had been cursed out several times that day. "How many times can a person be cussed at in a day?" he asked.
I assured him that I was an easy going person and that he wouldn't get cursed out by me. That won me some extra time with him. After he fixed our problem, he showed me some problems with my router configuration and helped me fix that.
He said he doesn't normally do that but I was so sweet and understanding when he was hours late.
See, kids? When you show someone just a little compassion, you get something in return.
I should be racking up points for that and for the fact that I didn't kill these stupid bitches that come in here when there is a HUGE sign on the door that says "Internet Access is Temporarily Unavailable. We Apologize for the Inconvenience". They still walk in and look at the dark monitors and say, "Are the computers not working?"
At first, I left a few monitors on because if someone needed to use Word, Excel or just play solitaire or something, they were welcome to. But that confused the general public. "How can your computers be running if the internet is down??"
So, I turned the monitors off.
After a few hours, I eventually shut and locked my door because I couldn't stand the questions.
"Is it still down?"
"Do you know when it'll be back?"
"Can I try to get my email anyway?"
"How do you know it's still not working?"
I simply smiled and answered the questions but inside...oh inside, it was a different story.
I imagined myself bludgeoning people with my keyboard for each stupid question and not stopping until they were a bloody, pulsating pile of human jelly.
That still counts as compassionate, right?
Posted by De at August 26, 2006 09:45 AM | TrackBackThank you m'lady.
I am a little concerned about your violent urges envolving killing stupid bitches with a keyboard. I think you'll find a UPS Power Backup is much more effective, keyboards cut and draw blood but for bludgeoning you need something much heavier.
PS I never liked the 'Fat lady singing' because i don't like Opera, it ain't over 'till it's over is less aural but kinda obvious for our bunch of Bible holding underachievers perhaps 'it ain't over till God says it is' might be more appropriate.
Posted by: colin at August 26, 2006 10:31 AMYou're right. A battery back-up would be a better bludgeoning instrument but it's really a lot of trouble. Should I unplug things first? Then I'd have to bend down and pick it up and sometimes they're under tables and desks.
Maybe I should keep a bat around for those moments when a bitch needs a beat down.
Astros win astros win. Get that fat lady offa me, she keeps humming.
Posted by: colin at August 26, 2006 08:43 PMI've found that if you answer any stupid question by using the word "cunt" at least twelve times in one sentence, that usually does the trick.
On the other hand, I have a subtle charm that's hard to come by.
Posted by: skippystalin at August 26, 2006 11:37 PMSkip your use of the vernacular enhances your subtle charm but most women don't like to use the last remaining cuss word.
Use a fucking bat.
We win again, put the fat lady back in the closet and take her weird hat off.
It ain't over till it's over, too many cooks spoil the broth, a stitch in time saves nine, one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch yeah, don't bite off more than you can chew, don't put all your eggs in one basket, cum on feel the noize girls grab the boys.....