I lost my father on Tuesday.
He had been sick for a while and in March, he was told he had 6 months to live. He was told he'd suffer horrible pain, he'd start to lose his mind and be confused all the time, he'd not be able to walk and would probably go blind in the last few months.
He fooled them. He died on his own terms. He still had his mind and wasn't suffering everyday.
Sunday night my mother put him to bed and he never woke up.
Hospice brought in a bed and an oxygen tank and he lived until 5:35pm on Tuesday. My four sisters, my mother, my brother in law, my dad's close friend and I were all there when he took his last breath.
I have to say that the people of Hospice are like angels. They did everything for us. They came and bathed him and they took care of all of the funeral home arrangements. The nurse that came after Dad died was so sweet to all of us. She told us that he died peacefully and that she was proud of us for making his last days so good.
My mother needed to hear that.
I haven't felt like blogging since then and I can't imagine feeling like I'll ever want to blog again.
I think I need to concentrate on other things in my life right now. I thank God that the lovely boyfriend was here during this time. I don't know what I would have done without him.
I want to concentrate on helping my mother through all of this and I want to simply enjoy life with the lovely boyfriend because it might not be permanent.
Hell, nothing in life is permanent, except for death.
So, I abandoned the blog for a while.......
I have a good reason and it pertains to the previous post.
There are only two people whom I know in real life that know about and read my blog regularly. These people I trust completely.
A week or so ago, I posted an entry about a real life friend (who doesn't even read this blog) and I didn't use any names or any real specifics.
Somehow, someone who knows the friend and know people who know the friend, found my blog, found pictures in my blog and printed them out (including this important entry about the friend) and showed them to the people who know the friend.
This information was VERY personal and VERY dangerous if put into the wrong hands.
I guess I was fucking naive to believe that anything is anonymous on the 'net.
What I want to know is...WHY? Why would this complete stranger to me use my blog to put someone in danger?
I know who it is now. I just don't know what to do with the information.
So, anyway....
Things have been pretty exciting in the life of Me...
The lovely boyfriend is here. He arrived June 5. On June 7 (the lovely boyfriend's birthday) we went to San Antonio. We stayed in the loveliest hotel. It was the most beautiful place I have EVER stayed in.
Unfortunately, it rained almost the whole time we were there.
The rest of the week was SUPER busy. We had something scheduled everyday.
Lovely boyfriend refuses to live in a world without cable (mostly for Speed Channel) and cable internet. My world contained no such technological marvels. I resisted getting cable again because I knew what would happen. I would sit on my ass for 12 hrs a day flipping through 900 channels.
Guess what, kids? It happened.
On Sunday, after cable was installed on Wednesday, I discovered that SoapNet replays a whole weeks worth of All My Children.
Yes, that's right. I sat on my lazy ass for 5 hours watching AMC.
My brain will indeed be turning to mush soon.
Saturday, June 12, was my birthday. I'm now 24!! What?? I am!
It seems like it was celebrated earlier in the week with a birthday dinner with my family on Thursday and gifts from Lovely Boyfriend all throughout the week.
Also, on Thursday, Lovely Boyfriend stayed up to 3 am putting together a new entertainment center to house my newly acquired larger television.
My father was told a few months ago that he doesn't have much longer to live. His kidneys are failing and he refuses dialysis so he's slowly fading.
He can't get around much anymore so all he does is watch TV. His eyesight is failing too and their 32 inch television just wasn't cutting it anymore.
My mother got my dad a new 52 inch, HD, RCA mammoth of a TV.
It is so fucking sad how excited my father was when he knew it was coming.
Then when it did arrive, he called everyone to get them to come see his new toy. I figured when you aren't long for this world and all you have in your life is TV you might as well have the best fucking TV ever!
So, that is how I acquired this practically brand new 32 incher. (I'm talking about the TV, you filthy-minded thing!)
Friday night, we watched the final funeral for Ronald Reagan. We cried like little bitches.
I was 8 years old when he was elected President (this tidbit disproves my previous claim of being 24, I know). I was a mini-pundit back in those days. For some reason, I was obsessed with politics. Maybe it was because my mother was very involved too.
When Jimmy Carter was running for office, my mom wrote him a letter basically saying that if he thought that anyone would elect him into the White House, he was crazier than he looked.
In a show of irony and sheer assholiness, she received an invitation to his Presidential Inauguration.
But, I digress...
I LOVED Ronald Reagan. For some reason he reminded me of my granddad who I thought was the smartest man in the world. When he died in 1984, I loved President Reagan even more.
Mr. Reagan was all about dignity and even though his last days were robbed by the progression of an unfair disease, he died with his dignity intact and a wonderful legacy.
Don't think for ONE second that I don't know who you are and that you're searching my site several times a day.
You won't find what you're looking for.
Why don't you mind your own fucking business?