I lost my father on Tuesday.
He had been sick for a while and in March, he was told he had 6 months to live. He was told he'd suffer horrible pain, he'd start to lose his mind and be confused all the time, he'd not be able to walk and would probably go blind in the last few months.
He fooled them. He died on his own terms. He still had his mind and wasn't suffering everyday.
Sunday night my mother put him to bed and he never woke up.
Hospice brought in a bed and an oxygen tank and he lived until 5:35pm on Tuesday. My four sisters, my mother, my brother in law, my dad's close friend and I were all there when he took his last breath.
I have to say that the people of Hospice are like angels. They did everything for us. They came and bathed him and they took care of all of the funeral home arrangements. The nurse that came after Dad died was so sweet to all of us. She told us that he died peacefully and that she was proud of us for making his last days so good.
My mother needed to hear that.
I haven't felt like blogging since then and I can't imagine feeling like I'll ever want to blog again.
I think I need to concentrate on other things in my life right now. I thank God that the lovely boyfriend was here during this time. I don't know what I would have done without him.
I want to concentrate on helping my mother through all of this and I want to simply enjoy life with the lovely boyfriend because it might not be permanent.
Hell, nothing in life is permanent, except for death.
Posted by De at June 28, 2004 12:08 PMDeAnna I am so deeply sorry for your loss - - and even though we are strangers across this vast web you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Uptown Girl at June 28, 2004 02:53 PMI'm very sorry for the loss of your father. Nothing I can say will make the hurt less. You're in my thoughts, please drop me a line if you need anything at all.
Posted by: Sabrina at June 28, 2004 03:43 PMDeAnna: My deepest condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: red at June 29, 2004 01:38 PMDeAnna, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm glad your boyfriend is there and the rest of you family, too. You've had a rough couple of months. Take all the time you need. I do hope you come back, even if it's with a new blog and a new name.
Posted by: Sheila at June 29, 2004 02:08 PMPlease accept my condolences.
Posted by: Ted at July 1, 2004 05:28 PMHi. I know I don't know you yet, but I'm another Munu and this is my first time here. I wish there were words in any language that I could say to you to lessen the pain you must be in right now. I love my dad so very much... I can't even begin to imagine what I'm going to do when I find myself in this particular hell, because I've tried before and it kills me to even think about it.
For what it's worth, for whatever comfort you can find in it, please know that you and your Mom and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Your Dad sounds like he was one helluva good man.
My heart aches for your loss.
Hugs...
Posted by: Stevie at July 2, 2004 10:18 PMOh, man. I'm so sorry I'm late here, DeAnna. I just discovered how pooched my blogroll is and came to check up on you manually. Grrrrrr.
My deepest condolences. That sounds so damned trite...let me try again from a bit deeper down.
My heart goes out to you. Hold your family, remember what his life was like, and never forget that there are people out here who care about you.
Posted by: Jim at July 8, 2004 01:23 PMI came here via Jim, who remembered to us your frequent comments, which I have always enjoyed. I am very sorry about your loss-nothing I can say will help, but you have a host of people here to help if you need it.
Posted by: Helen at July 8, 2004 02:37 PMI bet blogging will help you because you will realize how much people care about you and what you are going through. Don't give that up.
I remember losing my dad all too well. Things will be different from now on but they don't have to be horrible. Keep his love in your heart.
..hang in there, DeAnna... I lost my Father three years ago... I miss him more every day... be strong for your Mother, though.. in my experience, no matter how much I loved & missed my Father, I was his Son... my Mother was his Mate for 32 years... you have all my sympathy... and, you and your family have all my best wishes, DeAnna...
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