Gosh, kids. I've had to really dig around in my email archives for more stories from Skankerella. Here is one I found today:
Darling De,
I have a Battery Operated Boyfriend (Bob). Bob is probably the most faithful boyfriend I've ever had. The only time he has ever let me down is when his batteries died and I forgot to buy new ones.
That was a rookie mistake. You always have to have back up batteries at home.
I kept Bob practically IN my bed. There use to be a nice little space right between the box springs and the bed frame that gave just enough room for Bob to rest comfortably and allowed for easy access.
I forgot all about Bob one night when I was entertaining a guest that wasn't operated by D cells.
We were rocking the bed pretty good. Moans of pleasure and grunts of satisfaction filled the room. Suddenly, like plagues of locusts, a noise unlike any other assaulted our ears. The bed started shaking as if an earthquake was rippling through my apartment.
"What the fuck is that?", my guest inquired.
Momentarily stunned, I started at him for a moment thinking those locusts sure sound familiar.
"Oh! It's Bob!"
Wow, nothing makes a man lose an erection faster than yelling out another man's name.
"Bob??", yelled my now flacid friend.
"Yeah!" I reached down to the side of the bed and picked up Bob. In our enthusiastic lovemaking, we must have shook the bed so hard that Bob was as turned on as we were. He was vibrating against the metal of the bed frame causing quite a raucous!
I held him up with pride. "Meet Bob."
I don't know why I never heard from my man friend again. He doesn't have anything to worry about. It's not like Bob can take me out to dinner or buy me jewelry. Sheesh!
Kisses,
Skankerella
Obviously, you man friend is a homosexual. This goes without saying.
A real man would have fully utilized Bob into the lovemaking experience. I'm sure that some of your readers would be shocked to learn just how many women enjoy a little double penetration fun. And the vibrations from the toy feel good for the gentleman caller as well. A modern gentleman never runs from such an adventure.
But I am seeing a pattern developing here. Skankerella seems to date little girls in men's bodies. You should send her up here.
Posted by: skippystalin at May 26, 2006 12:18 PMI think you're right. A trip up north sounds like good medicine for poor Skankerella.
Posted by: De at May 26, 2006 12:22 PMSee? I know how to cure an ailing girl. Did you know that a 14 hour long rimjob is believed to prevent cervical cancer?
Posted by: skippystalin at May 26, 2006 12:38 PMJeezus, skippy. I think I'm in love.
Posted by: De at May 26, 2006 12:45 PMThen it's decided then, we shall run off to Costa Rica and properly make you my three-imput girl forevermore!
God, I'm the last of the romantics. How could you not love me?
Posted by: skippystalin at May 27, 2006 12:49 AM!
Posted by: shank at May 27, 2006 02:48 PM