I love it when Skankeralla tells this story:
Sexually explicit stuff ahead:
Several years ago, I was living with a guy; we'll call him Oliver.
Oliver was a sexually adventurous guy...when he was horny.
When Oliver was horny, he wanted to do and try all kinds of crazy, wild things. As soon as Oliver had an orgasm, though, he became as uptight as a nun.
He told me once that the only reason men kiss, fondled and cuddled with women was to get them into bed. Men want to get in and get out and be done with it, he said. I believed him.
One night, he was enjoying my fellatial attentions rather enthusiastically. He got very excited and whispered to me, "Don't swallow me at first. Come up here and kiss me."
I was surprised. He wanted to snowball? Oliver? Wow!
Far be it from me to deny him this new adventure.
So when the time came and I had a mouthful, I climbed toward him, ready to press my lips against his, open my mouth and....
When we made eye contact, I could see the terror. I knew that as soon as Oliver orgasmed, the idea of having his own jizz in his mouth was not as appealing as it was when he was in the throws of fellatial passion.
He shook his head in violent jerks, his eyes wide and his mouth moving silently trying to find the words to say what his eyes were conveying to me: "Dear God, no!".
I found this all extremely hilarious: me climbing up his body with a mouthful of splooge and his abject terror.
I felt the laughter bubbling up and before I could control myself I busted out laughing, spraying his man juices all over him, the pillows, the headboard.
Man, that stuff is hard to get out of your hair.
Love,
S
Man, some people do say some crazy shit in bed don't they? I'm sitting here in my office trying to laugh w/o being heard, because if someone walked by and I had to explain why I was laughing my ass off, I'd probably end up in sensitivity training or something. That's hilarious, your friend has the best stories.
Posted by: shank at May 25, 2006 01:23 PMSkankerella is a busy girl, how on earth does she have time to do all this fornicating and still post...I mean, email you about it?
Posted by: Tammy at May 25, 2006 04:55 PMYou know, I think Tammy's just jealous of Skankerella's conquests. Maybe she's just got a little Skankerella inside her that's dying to be let out.
Posted by: shank at May 26, 2006 06:10 AMYou know, shank, I think you're right. ;)
Skankerella is really starting to grow on me.
All hail Skankerella!
Posted by: Paul at May 26, 2006 10:38 AMYou know, any man who isn't willing to taste his own jizz should be euniched. Of course, that's easy for me to say because mine happens to delicious. Anyone who has ever tasted it tells me that it immediately makes them think of unicorns, rainbows and the smell of freshly cut grass after a thunderstorm.
That's right, I'm fellatilicious!
Posted by: skippystalin at May 26, 2006 10:55 AMI knew that the moment I first read your blog, skippy. You're delicious!
Posted by: De at May 26, 2006 10:58 AMOK, any guy who eats his own cum should be hospitalized and heavily medicated. That's just tremendously grody.
Unless you're gay, I suppose. If you're eating cum, what difference does it make if it's yours or another guys?
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go tongue-fuck my girlfriend's ass and forget about how gross you people are.
;)