It's All About De: A Dose of Skippy

August 31, 2005

A Dose of Skippy

Well, I've been ripped out of my malaise by the infamous Skippy.
I was catching up with him today and found myself laughing like a retard at my monitor.
How can you not love a man who hates himself so viciously?

In fact, I probably wouldn't be so aggravated by the whole thing if he were at least good looking. Our Hero is even uglier than I am! And remember, I require several sharp blows to the face every morning just to look normal!

How can you not laugh, even when the world seems so doomed?

In the lead up to the first party, there were not one, but two such women at my desk. Both could be described as blindingly beautiful. The combined effect of them together lead me to believe that my penis was about to tear through my pants and punch me in the face. I actually wanted to rip my own eyes out so that their beauty would be my final visual memory.
..............................
Remember that I said that these units ae no bigger than a coffee table? I wasn't kidding. I'm not at all exaggerating when I say that you couldn't spin in a circle in the living room if you had and erection without banging your cock on each of the walls. Don't ask me how I know this, just know that I do.

If I wasn't positive that all Canadian men had tiny penises, I'd be all over that Skippy.

Posted by De at August 31, 2005 01:19 PM | TrackBack

Comments

If I wasn't positive that all Canadian men had tiny penises, I'd be all over that Skippy.

It's sad but true. Fortunately the Canadian women make up for it by all having big boobies.

Posted by: Jim at September 1, 2005 04:40 AM

You're right, Jimmah. Take Pamela Anderson for example...

Posted by: De at September 1, 2005 12:14 PM

De,

While I'm absolutely not kidding about the shovel to the face bit, I MAY be kidding about the tiny penis jokes.

In any event, I'm absolutely serious about having a tongue like an anteater and the skills to put it to work. It can dance the Lambada - the Forbidden Dance.

In any event, we should talk.

Posted by: skippystalin at September 1, 2005 04:54 PM

My my my....
I've had one tiny Canadian penis experience but I'd be willing to give Canada another chance in that case.

Posted by: De at September 1, 2005 05:04 PM

Tell you what, if I have to, I'll do push-ups with my tongue on webcam for you. How's that?

See? I'm not TOO lonely...

Posted by: skippystalin at September 1, 2005 11:10 PM

Yeah webcam action isn't desperate at all. ;)

Posted by: De at September 2, 2005 11:53 AM

Now you're getting me excited, my pretty.

If there's anything that everyone knows about me, it's that I have an ungovernorable tongue and an unquenchable taste for cunnilingus at all times.

A gentleman like me shouldn't be teased...

Posted by: skippystalin at September 7, 2005 11:33 AM

How could I refuse a romantic offer such as that?

Posted by: De at September 7, 2005 11:58 AM

De,

I'm one of the last of the Great Romantics. Christ, I'm even famous for it in Canada. I can do it in Ye Olde English even.

I have a whole Cyrano DeBergerac thing going on. Such are the joys of being comic book ugly. You learn to develop a vivid imagination and a vocabularly right quick.

Sure, there are OTHER skills a man in my situation rapidly develops, but those are best dealt with in private.