Short Attention Span Blogging

God. I had major insomnia last night.
I was SO tired but I got in bed and just tossed and turned. I felt like it was too hot so I turned the thermostat down and took off the pajama pants.
Then I felt like the fitted sheet was wrinkled up under me, so I got up and straightened that.
Then it felt like Zoe and Crash were purposefully trying to push me off the bed so I pushed them back grumbling the whole time about how *I* am the one paying the bills, *I* buy their food, *I* am the HUMAN here so *I* should get the run of the bed.
Finally, I gave up, groaned a very loud "Fuuuuuuuck!" and turned on the TV to watch a late night Roseanne double feature.
So, needless to say, I'm not my most chipper today. Therefore, I give you....
Short Attention Span Blogging

• My Fourth of July was good. We attended a fishing tournament awards ceremony where my sister and brother-in-law presented an award that was created in my nephew Rick's name and watched his brother Michael win three awards for biggest gafftop and biggest jack fish.


• Oh and it was one hot mofo that day. I felt sure I could vomit from heat exposure at any moment.


• Instead of vomiting, we went back to my mother's where I made gourmet burgers and had to burn the first batch on the grill and then run in crying and screaming, "I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY! THE BURGERS ARE BURNT!!! I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING, YOU SORRY SUCKERS! I HATE YOU ALL!!" before anyone would get up and help me. My performance kicked all the men into gear; my sisters being the original drama queens of the family, were unimpressed.


• It seems that tropical storms have decided to form a line into the Gulf of Mexico. All the old people keep saying "This is the year for the Big One." so I figure one day, their ancient prophesy will come true. Until then, I will hoard my bottle water, candles and battery operated radio.


• My picture was on the front page of the local weekly paper. I'm currently trying to figure out a way to add some type of drug into the local water supply that will convince everyone who sees it that I'm thin and beautiful. Suggestions are welcome.


• I mentioned Crash's infirmaties in this post. After nearly a week of being on the new meds, I am noticing a small improvement. He will attempt the stairs now instead of staring at them and looking at me like I'm the world's biggest moron.


• My horribly loud neighbors suddenly moved out a few weeks ago, much to my relief. I went into the apartment manager's office today and requested a nice Amish couple for the next tenants. They assured me they will do all the can to make that happen. I am hopeful.

And that concludes SASB.

Posted by De at July 6, 2005 03:33 PM | TrackBack