As a single, childless woman, married, childfilled women either think I'm a waste of space or they envy my freedom and independence.
Mostly, it's the former.
Helen's post reminded me of this.
I ran into someone I went to school with one day and she proceeded to fill me in on her wonderful life. "I'm married with 4 great kids. How about you?"
This is the part I hate. Do I bow my head in shame and say, "No, no one can stand my company for more than an hour so getting married and actually reproducing is difficult."? Do I joke it off and say "Nope, no one's caught me yet!"?
The latter reply got me by for a few years but the older I get the more ridiculous it all seems.
I don't know why I'm not married yet. I guess I haven't met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with yet. I am fiercely independent and comfortable with my life now so I think that I either intimidate men or just plain turn them off. When I get married, I want to STAY married. I don't want to get divorced and if I have any doubts about someone, I don't think I should marry them.
I didn't think I wanted to go into this while dodging other shoppers in the grocery store so I simply said, "No husband. No kids." without further explanation or shame.
My former classmate cocked her head to the side and said, "Aww. He's out there, honey. Don't you worry."
Oh my God! How condescending!!
I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to knock her down. I wanted to to to...
I don't know, I paused for a moment and then quipped, "I know. That's why I'm in hiding." God, so lame.
When I related this story to my parents, my dad said, "Oh great. Now she thinks you're gay."
Maybe that's okay. Maybe it's better to be gay than be an old spinster.
Posted by De at February 24, 2005 07:43 PMWho cares what she thinks. She's probably just saying that to make herself feel better, "Oh yes, one day, De will be as tied down and miserable as me. Muwahahahaha!!!"
Posted by: Sabrina at February 25, 2005 06:08 PMHell, I thought that was a great comeback. Especially for off the cuff.
Screw the countdown garbage. I was 25 before I had a serious adult relationship and close to thirty before I was married. I heard plenty of all that garbage myself and I'm a guy.
And if the laws hadn't forced our hands we wouldn't even have been married then - we would have waited a year or two.
Fact is, getting married before you've found the person to marry is just plain stupid.
Posted by: Jim at February 25, 2005 06:28 PMSabrina, Translation: Misery love company?
Jim, that's probably why your marriage is so successful. You did it for the right reasons.
Posted by: DeAnna at February 26, 2005 10:41 AMHell... marry ME. I can't reproduce anymore and I'll leave you alone unless you WANT to be bothered.
But you've got to be able to play Scrabble and work crossword puzzles. And clean my kitchen.
Posted by: Acidman at February 28, 2005 04:18 PMSounds like an offer I can't refuse, Mr. Rob!
Posted by: DeAnna at February 28, 2005 04:31 PMHmmmm.. I would take gay over old spinster. Hell, there are days I wonder why I bother with men at all... oh, wait.. ok, I can think of a few reasons... I don't know how to do an oil change on my car and I don't want to learn. And I hate killing big bugs.
But be sure your new lesbian lover wears the same size as you do - we could all use a little variety in our wardrobe.. :-)
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