May 23, 2008

You Had Me at VD

The Astros are having a decent run right now but I don't want to jinx it by talking about it too much.

I freaking hate the Cubs so naturally I wanted to see the Astros play them live. We had some GREAT seats for Wednesday night's game.
The people around you can sure ruin a game for you, though.
We had this loud mouth sitting right behind us. He wasn't a horrible guy...he just loved to hear himself talk and had one of those voices that just penetrates your skull.
He was sitting with a group of men and he loudly asked them who manages the Cubs.
No one knew. He asked three different people in his group and still no one knew.
I couldn't stand it...after the third time I turned around and said "It's Lou Pinella!"

Big mistake.

Talking Man decided to regale me with his baseball knowledge in return for my nugget of information.
J.R. Towles is too skinny to be a major league catcher, according to Talking Man.
Relief pitcher for the Cubs, Jon Leiber is too old.
Talking Man use to call high school baseball games and wouldn't you know it, he called a few of my alma mater's games.
But the most disturbing moment came when he was talking about the Baltimore Orioles.
He informed me that Baltimore was a toilet and also the Venereal Disease Capitol of the World...he followed that statement with a wink.
Yes. He winked.
My mouth dropped open. Was this some kind of line? Was he coming on to me with a line about VD?
I couldn't help but wonder if this usually works for him...because, you know...nothing turns me on more than STD trivia.

Posted by De at May 23, 2008 09:46 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Did I ever tell you about my particularly virulent case of gonorrhea?

Wink, wink.

Posted by: skippystalin at May 23, 2008 10:39 AM

That's what's so sexy about you...the gonorrhea!

Posted by: De at May 23, 2008 10:55 AM

Talking Man wanted to become Fucking Man and further spread his knowledge of VD.

At least I know there's someone out there dumber than me when it comes to how to pick up girls...

Posted by: Adam Lawson at May 23, 2008 12:39 PM

You hate the Cubs? I feel like I don't even know you.

Posted by: Sabrina at May 23, 2008 12:42 PM

LMAO! OMG Sabrina...I totally meant to say that I LOVE to hate the Cubs!

Posted by: De at May 23, 2008 12:44 PM

Perhaps he has a facial tic and VD...
When they are showing Herpes treatment ads on mainstream TV, STD is just another way of saying........."Get the fuck away from me, I'd rather have a wank."
Peace.

Posted by: colin at May 24, 2008 09:45 AM