April 25, 2007

But I Don't Get Paid

I taught a computer basics class today and I had a "student" who was about 105 yrs old, with short term memory loss.
Needless to say, I'm blogging drunk right now.

Thinking about my ancient student made me think about being old which made me think about the last few weeks when I was suffering through my still mysterious ailment.
I didn't tell you guys about my adventure at my final doctor's appointment.

Before I saw the doctor that day, a medical student came in and introduced herself. She asked if I would allow her to ask me a few questions about my condition and I, being someone who wants to help people gain a higher education, allowed her to.
She saw that I was on a cruise earlier in the month so she started quizzing me about that. Did I eat anything in Mexico? Did I buy anything? Did I eat off of any strange pottery?
I answered "no" to all of her questions and even added that I was aware of the fact that the cruise ship is a floating petri dish and so I tried to be careful about germs..."I'm a bit of a germaphobe" I said, "I wash my hands a lot. So I was careful about not touching things like the stair rails and the bathroom handles because of all the people who had probably touched it before me."
She writes on her notepad, "Mmm hmm....So, let me ask you; have you ever been treated for your OCD?"

Me: "What?? OCD?? I'm not OCD. I'm just CAREFUL about germs!"

My outrage certainly caused her to start backtracking. "Uhh..err...umm...no, I mean there are so many different levels of OCD. Some people are ultra organized and that makes them successful..."

I just stared at her until she stopped stammering and shut up.

"I'm simply aware of the germs that are out there and I'm careful about how I expose myself to them. I'm not ready to be hospitalized, yet." I smiled blandly.

She moved on but I swear she mentioned compulsive behavior and OCD 3 times! I felt like saying, "Ok, bitch. I'm done with you. Where's the doctor?"

She also accused me of being a slut when she mentioned my pain could be caused by a STD and then she also insinuated that it could all be in my head.

By the time she left the room, I felt like a crazy whore. I was slutty and I was insane, according to the med student.

Luckly, the doctor came in and debunked all the med student's theories.

It was scary how quickly I started doubting myself.
Maybe I really wasn't in pain. Maybe this was all in my head.

Maybe I am a crazy whore?

Posted by De at April 25, 2007 11:46 AM | TrackBack

Takes one to know one.

Posted by: tinyhands at April 25, 2007 03:03 PM

Yes but you're our crazy whore.
You should have smacked the crap o/o the medical student, in a few years she'll be accusing innocent people of illegal acts or inventing suppressed memories in gullible kids and adults.

Posted by: colin at April 25, 2007 07:29 PM

*sniff* Thanks, Colin. I'm all choked up.

Posted by: De at April 25, 2007 08:11 PM

I felt like a crazy whore.

well you are a woman.

Posted by: Adam at April 25, 2007 08:13 PM

I don't know about crazy, but you are def a whore.

I will never say yes to a medical student again. I had a similar experience when I was pregnant with Lucia. Yeah so I gained a bit of weight (eep 62lbs) but this fucked medical student was making a big assed deal out of it like I was a freak of nature. YOU F-ER JENNY MCCARTHY GAINED 72lbs and SO DID KELLY RIPA and they lost it. Made me feel like a fucking asshole. PLUS, he and dr were late for my appt by like 45 mins because he was asking so many questions in every appt. Fuck medical students.

Posted by: Angela at April 26, 2007 01:48 PM

Tell him to pull out for a second..that wasn't to graphic was it?

Posted by: colin at April 28, 2007 11:18 AM

Crazy and slutty?

That's the perfect combination. I usually only get one or the other. But I never win.

Wanna get married?

Posted by: skippystalin at April 28, 2007 10:38 PM

Ang...typical that it was a MALE medical student that said that! Ass!

Skippy, yes...a thousand times yes! I've been saving myself for you.

Posted by: De at April 28, 2007 10:57 PM

Define 'saving'.

Posted by: colin at April 29, 2007 11:20 AM

Umm...the only thing I've saved is marriage. Oh! and a threesome with Janine. He'll LOVE that!

Posted by: De at April 29, 2007 11:35 AM