Birthday Blues

I know, I'm early.
My birthday isn't until Monday but I've got the blues.

Caution: Whining Ahead!!!!

I am not looking forward to my birthday but it's not because of my age. I could easily lie about my age so I'm not worried about being 34 26.

I guess I still have that childhood birthday fantasy. Birthdays were a big deal in my family. I always had a big birthday party and lots of gifts. Even after I got older, my parents always made the day special for me.

My birthday started going down hill in my mid-twenties. I was dating a guy who was pretty cold-hearted. One year he didn't get me anything and his excuse was "I buy you a lot of stuff during the year."
I was already mentally beaten down by this guy so yeah, it hurt, but I wasn't outraged like I should have been.

Then years later, I was dating someone else who, although he was a good guy, was unimaginative.
His birthday was a few days before mine and one year I planned a trip to San Antonio and we stayed in an amazing hotel. I planned out this great weekend for his birthday and he was floored by it.
On my birthday, he planned....nothing.
We did nothing.
I was depressed. I stayed in bed until 2pm and finally he came in and said "I guess we could go out to eat."
God, I should have known then this shit wasn't going to work out.

So, every year my birthday has been a disappointment. It's my fault really. I have unrealistic expectations, I know.
But it would be nice to be special to SOMEONE even for just one day a year.

One day! Sheesh! That's not asking for much, is it?

Posted by De at June 9, 2006 10:51 AM | TrackBack