April 21, 2006

IrRATional

I know I'm supposed to be working on the research paper.
I'm waiting til the last minute because that's just how I roll.

I have an irrational fear of anything in the rodent family. That would include rabbits (yes...even cute little bunnies! Those bastards will scratch your eyes out), raccoons, rats, mice, ferrets, guinea pigs, hamsters...you name it, I hate it.
I also hate possum. I don't know where the fuck they belong in the animalus genus but my skin literally crawls when I see one.
I imagine their long, sharp talons and their evil razor teeth biting into your flesh.
I hate their strange wiry hair and their long pointed muzzles.
Seeing a possum while I'm out walking the dogs will throw me into a complete panic.
It's crazy......it's irrational...it's me.

Yesterday, I was sitting at a redlight coming into town and I was several cars back.
I was right next to the median that separated the two directions of traffic. The state (or city, who knows?) felt it necessary to plant pretty hedges to soften the look of litter and concrete.
I was gazing into the hedges, deep in thought, when I noticed something moving under the hedge.
I focused in and saw a very large rat, sitting on his evil back legs, nibbling on something with his sharp, evil teeth between his evil front paws.
His large eyes peered into mine. I shivered, momentarily frozen.

Then I checked my doors....you know, to make sure they were locked...

Posted by De at April 21, 2006 12:54 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Well I was just reading about a rash of rat carjackings happening all across Texas.

Posted by: Sabrina at April 21, 2006 07:55 PM

See? My fears aren't so irrational, are they? ;)

Posted by: DeAnna at April 21, 2006 09:13 PM

De, you ever been to New York? They're so big there they don't bother to eat in the damn bushes - they come right in the diner and grab a stool at the bar. Last time I was there, I'm pretty sure one squeegeed my window for spare change.

Posted by: shank at April 24, 2006 08:55 AM

Rabbits aren't rodents. They're lagomorphs. That should reassure you.

Posted by: triticale at April 24, 2006 08:40 PM

shank: I wouldn't even let a rat buy me a drink...and that's saying a LOT.

Triticale: Umm...no, but thanks. ;)

Posted by: De at April 24, 2006 08:57 PM

If you fear rodents, then you'd love New York City's subway system. Talons and evil? sheesh, imagine how they feel about us. I used to torture my guinea pig

Posted by: Simon at April 25, 2006 07:57 AM