My nephew is a character. He is fascinated by so many things and has a interest and wonder in life that you don't see in kids much anymore. So many kids are blase and jaded by the time they're teenagers that they aren't any fun to be around.
Michael's different. He's so smart and takes such an interest in so many things.
Lately, his interest has been about alcohol.
No, he's not an alcoholic but he loves to collect bottles. His favorites are unusual liquor or wine bottles. We give him our empty bottles all the time.
One day online, he saw a bottle of absinthe with it's art deco label and it's hypnotizing green glowing liquid. He wants one. Not an empty one but a new, full one.
The trouble is, absinthe is banned in the US and many other countries as well so he can't buy it here.
He's a smart kid and he's been doing some searching on the net and found a website that sells it.
He sent me an email that read:
Hey De wuz up he's 16 so "wuz up" is apparently correct email etiquette
my mom said it was ok to get this for me for xmas
(link omitted)it's a little high 40.84 dollars so i'll pay 15 dollars to get it down to 25
ttul
big mike
Now, besides puncutation, capitalization and grammar, there is something wrong with this email....it's a lie.
I know damn well my sister didn't tell him he could have absinthe for Christmas! Does he think I was born yesterday?
I'd be a horrible aunt to get an illegal substance for my nephew, wouldn't I?
But I hate not giving him what he wants. I have this base need to give Michael anything he asks for....but absinthe?
I checked out the website and shipping to the US is nearly $40. That's over $80 for a half a liter of a foreign, green hallucinogenic.
The other problem besides the other obvious moral issues is that I'm afraid that even though he says he wants it because it's cool looking and he just wants to put it up on his shelf he will want to try a little of it.
Why do I think this? Because *I* want to try a little of it.
Supposedly, this is the shit that made VanGogh go insane, cut off his ear and to be institutionalized.
How could I not want to try it? This stuff sells itself!
Posted by De at December 6, 2005 02:46 PM | TrackBackI really wouldn't worry about the US ban. It isn't illegal, it's just prohibited by the FDA. Customs could seize it but there's no legal liability other than the loss of the absinthe.
I'd be more concerned with the fact that it's a strong alcoholic beverage. If sis trusts him with booze then the fact that its booze with thujone isn't a real big concern.
Posted by: Jim at December 7, 2005 03:06 AMYou know, it wasn't the absinthe that drove VanGough insane, it was depression. Or maybe the lead-based paint. Matter of fact, I don't think he's even known for absinthe; I thought that was Poe?
At any rate, clear it with his mom first. I garantee you the kid will try it and hate it, absinthe tastes like 80 different kinds of ass.
Posted by: shank at December 9, 2005 10:04 AMBeware.
They no longer make real stuff anymore. This new absinthe that they're making nowadays is a pale comparison to the original stuff. I believe the secret ingredient, wormwood, was poisoning people or something. I don't remember the details, but I read about it somewhere. If there really is wormwood in there it's a minute amount, and not enough to send you flying like a 19th century fop.
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