Wet Pussy (That oughta fuck

Wet Pussy
(That oughta fuck with my google ratings)

Hemingway is my white, extremely overweight, deaf cat. Many people don't hear much about him because I fully admit I prefer my dogs because they are so affectionate. Hemingway cares fuck all about me unless he's hungry.
Because he's deaf, I've been VERY careful about not letting him outside. I'm a little afraid of him not hearing a car or a predator.
I do let him out on the patio but it's surrounded by a 6 foot fence that he can neither climb nor crawl under. He loves going out there and checking things out in the courtyard and smelling all the great outdoor aromas.
Every so often he'll sneak out the front door when I leave it open too long but he never goes far. When he gets to the top of the stairs he has NO idea what to do. He's never seen stairs before.
He quickly gets put back inside.

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I was closing the patio door and I checked to make sure he wasn't out there. The patio was empty. I didn't see Hemingway anywhere else but that's not unusual. He loves to hide out either under the bed or between the side of the couch and the wall in the livingroom so I went to bed.
This was about 2:30 am. I woke up at 11:30 am and realized that Hemingway never jumped up on the bed during the night, I never heard him scratching around in his litter box or crunch loudly on his food like he always does in the night.
I jumped out of bed and started checking all his usual places. He wasn't to be found.
I had a bad feeling. I opened the front door and to my horror, there he was. Being deaf, he didn't hear me open the door and he was trying to get under the patio fence but his fat ass wouldn't fit. I knew he was trying to get under there thinking that if he could get into the patio, surely he'd be able to get into the house.

What I failed to mention is that it rained all day yesterday and all through the night. It was cold and windy too.
Hemingway entire head was wet and dirty but his feet and underbelly were clean so I knew he never went down the stairs.
Apparently, when I went to take the trash out last night, he slipped out and I didn't see it. That was about 1 am.
>From 1 am until 11:30 am, that poor kitty lived a night of hell (for him). He probably didn't sleep the whole time and definitely didn't eat or shit. He ran in the house when I opened the door and he went right to his food bowl and then to the litter box and spent quite a while making up for lost poop time.

I wonder if he'll try to pull this shit again? I'm sure it sucks being a wet pussy.

Posted by De at January 8, 2004 10:59 PM